Is that inner monologue eating you up? Does the sense of “esprit d’escalier” plague you with the things you wish you’d thought to say the last time you encountered an ex-lover, current boss, or irritating friend? Many of us chatter to ourselves all the time coming up with great point/counterpoint dialogue to hash through past conflict as a way to cope and soothe our ego. The other day my daughter pointed out that I talk to myself a lot. “What are you saying?” she asked. “It’s not just what I’m saying,” I replied, “It’s who I’m saying it to.” “So who are you talking to?” she said. “They sound interesting.” I soft pedalled the issue by telling her I was processing things at work and in my relationships that were more complicated than I would like them to be. My big words seemed to appease her and let her know that it was just something that adults do. Ah to be a child again with uncomplicated relationships and an in-the-moment perspective.
Such passionate and powerful inner dialogue is a basis for stress and from my standpoint, intense creativity hence my desire for Posterous to have a “blog from brain” option. But, as my Uncle Millard pointed out, “You really don’t want people watching that many of thoughts.” He’s a wise man.
There are many schools of thought about inner dialogue. Many of us spend years in therapy processing those truly one-sided conversations that we take so seriously. But I think a little inner dialogue is good as long as we remember it’s really a monologue. I look at it for what it is, a way of finding out how I really feel about things rather than a rehearsal for that moment when I finally get to have my say.
Today I got an interesting new Twitter follower @LettersINsend. Their mantra “Giving an audience to your inner monologue.”
The blog provides a way to get things off your chest by posting anonymous letters you’d not likely to send. Conveniently I had a letter all written up and sitting on my computer awaiting either a drunken moment where I’d lost all sense of self respect, my memoirs, or this. So, I did the safe thing and posted it. (I’m not telling you the topic or the intent but I will tell you it was sweet and NOT angry.) I admit I felt lighter after wards. The topics seem to be mostly about love but I think there’s room for all sorts of things. Will be interesting to see it round out.
Check it out and submit something. It’s actually quite fun and a great way to express yourself without the risk of relationship fall out.